I'm not sure how to say this without seeming like an inconsolable child, banging my fists and whimpering that it's just not fair.
Peers of mine with resumes dripping with experience and accolades, armed to the teeth with determination and ambition - only to be left empty-handed after months and months of job searching.
Until last week, the sturm und drang blaring from the news media was mostly bouncing off of me. Of course, I felt for those losing their homes or life savings, but I hardly felt that the United States of America was going to fold in on itself like a dying star.
I'm angry now. Angry at myself for still not knowing which career to pursue (with futility), which connections to be make (with futility). Angry because I can't parse out a way that the economic crisis is my fault. Angry, 'cause, there's dignity in serving and bartending again, but there sure is disappointment, too. I feel cheated. And it's hard to write all these papers right now when they seem for nought.
I think people tend to wrap up negative blog posts with some sort of statement of appreciation for the things they have, reminding anyone reading that they have perspective.
It just started raining and that is bringing me comfort. Ebb and flow.
No comments:
Post a Comment