So this is going on outside.
You know sometimes when they hit the lights at last call and suddenly the warm wash of incandescence that's bathed the place becomes unkind doctor's-office-lighting and everyone is back to their ugly selves, teeth and guts and skin and too much makeup, and suddenly nothing is more important than being home, washing your face, being in your own bed, anything to get out of this godforsaken bar.
Yeah, last call in Athens was about two weeks ago for me. But getting "home" is always problematic for someone my age. I feel welcome in Columbus but I pay rent in Athens but my parents live in Dayton, but not in the house I grew up in.
I'm tired. Grad school feels like life suspended, and yeah, "journey not a destination", but I've always been terrible at carpe-ing the diem. It's never been a cinch for me to just be where I am.
But mostly, I'm sick of all this navel-gazing. I hope the six week vacation that starts Wednesday at 10:00 am will remind me that life is doing things and loving people, not talking about doing things and loving people.
1 comment:
this has pretty much been my November as well. I've dealt with my constant feeling of transiant by hibernating for 15 hours a day in my pj's and watching arrested development and drinking tea, and wondering why I can't ever feel settled where I am.
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