This is what the fountain outside the library looks like when you finally finish your paper.

It's funny how suffocating feelings of incompetence and dread show up to the party as soon as I have a bunch of beastly work to get done. I want to tap my brain on the shoulder and say, "Just because work isn't fun doesn't mean you have to flood my bloodstream with feelings. Sack up."

These feelings tend to spike at 11 p.m. and increase exponentially as each hour of the night passes.

Nice fountain, though.

As my dad says, "Nothing's free but the sunshine." Free grad school isn't free. It costs $350 per quarter in cryptic "student fees." Rest assured there was much teeth-gritting and nose-wrinkling when I wrote that check today. I will exact passive-aggressive retribution by spending my monthly stipend check on cheap beer and tattoos. Take that, the state of Ohio.

Does anyone ever accomplish all the things they'd like to on their day off? When I go to Columbus for the weekend, I get nothing done. When I stay in town for the weekend, I get nothing done.

Also, because I spent the day looking up at the TV between staring at my books and the flashing cursor in my barren, barren Word document: Pundits! Stop referring to the election as a done deal! Quit suggesting that it will take a miracle for McCain to turn this around! You are freaking tempting fate! Haven't you ever heard of jinxing yourself? Cryin' out loud.

The birthday girl busts a move.

Sjanneke seems to know every African international student at OU. Last night was the birthday party of her friend, Joann, who moved here from Uganda for graduate school this summer. The birthday girl made a huge spread of Ugandan food for her guests, and set aside a special plate for us because she knew we'd be late. A party packed with perfect strangers has never been less awkward, all night people just approached me with right hands extended and big white half-moon smiles.

Sjan and I danced to thumping and wailing Afropop all night. Best party I've been to in years.

24 Hour Party Penguin.

"And so she said unto the people, Black Sabbath is just ripping off Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin is just ripping off T.Rex, T.Rex is just ripping off Donovan." -the Gospel According to Ana

Tonight I was invited to watch the Office at the apartment of a girl in my cohort. I like the dissonance between Kip's PTA president looks and her sharp, subversive wit. So, for those of you keeping score at home, Athens friend count: 2.

My evening ended in an impromptu yet cutthroat game of Pretty, Pretty Princess at Sjanneke's. In a Gollum-like lust for The Crown, we accidentally managed to forgo any sort of strategy in favor of maniacally usurping eachother. It sort of sickened us when we realized how twisted the game is. For example, the winner is encouraged to admire herself in the bejeweled mirror as the most "pretty,pretty" of all. So that children's board game is a sociology dissertation waiting to happen.

Shit gets downright majestic here in Appalachia.

This week, on the local public radio station, Nick and I accidentally tuned into a call-in show called "Sell Phone." Local listeners call in and candidly describe the item they're hoping to sell (" '92 Cavalier, looks good, runs good") and leave their phone number for interested buyers to call. Like some sort of analog Craigslist. Awesome.

INT. My house in Athens - mid morning

EVIE cracks the front door to find a disheveled-looking COLUMBUS standing there. There are dark circles under his eyes.

Evie: What are you doing here?
Columbus: I just... Can we talk?
Evie: This isn't really a good time.

Columbus: Please. Just..a couple minutes. I need to sort though some things.

Evie: Okay, okay, come in. But..being here is just going to upset you more.

Columbus: OU sweatshirt? Go team.
Evie,defensively, tugging at sweatshirt: What? Aw, c'mon, you know I like vintage-looking bullshit.
Columbus: No, it's cute. Um, very college.
Evie: Did you just come here to make fun of me?

Columbus, massaging temples: No, no, of course not. (looking around) This..this is what you want?

Evie: It's what I want right now. It's...easy here. Peaceful.

Columbus: So everytime life gets hard, you leave?

Evie: You're not being fair. I'm just..charmed, I guess. Athens recycles, you know? It's refreshing.

ATHENS, shirtless with messy bedhead, ambles down the stairs, scratching his bare stomach. ATHENS regards COLUMBUS and EVIE intensely exchanging words and pauses.

Athens, concerned: Is everything cool here, babe?

Evie: Yeah, we're just..talking.
Athens, to Columbus: You hungry, man? I was just gonna scramble up some frit-ta-taas with the eggs and peppers I picked up at the co-op.

Columbus: No, I just lost my appetite actually.

ATHENS leaves, enters kitchen.

Columbus, to Evie: Frit-taa-taas.

Evie: Stop.

Columbus: That guy is an asshole.

Evie: No, no, he's...uncomplicated.

Columbus: He's an asshole.

Evie: Look, I told you I needed space. Can we talk about this during the holidays? You shouldn't even be here.

Columbus: Yeah. Neither should you.

END SCENE